Up North

Went up to Lancashire for a week or so, pleasant family time. Visited, briefly, the Lake District, Yorkshire Dales, Forest of Bowland and Morecambe. I had to look Morecambe up in the 'Crap Towns' book. It's deservedly at number 3. We drove through a derelict seaside resort, parked on the seafront carpark and walked along the prom. The wind was strong and the sky was grey, although that's not Morecambe's fault. The Midland Hotel has been restored to its deco glory. There was an amusement park in between the closed down amusement parks. We had coffee at Costa, I looked in a bookshop.
Superficially disorganised, rooms coming off rooms and stepping over piles of books to get from one place to the next, it reminded me of the way secondhand bookshops were thirty years ago. Masses and masses of books you can't imagine anyone ever buying, which is exactly the sort of place you need when you can't find what you want through more straightforward means. At some point over the last twenty years, bookshop proprietors have reasoned 'instead of charging what I think this is worth, I'm going to charge a generous percentage of the price were you to buy it new'. This particular bookshop proprietor has then added another percentage, so you get to search longer than you need to to pay more than you want to.
I enjoyed visiting Morecambe. It makes the seaside resort I live in (Crap Town 18 in the second book) look tolerable.

More Songs

I have recorded three more songs and put them here for your enjoyment. They haven't been mastered (because I'm not really sure how to do that yet), but they are quite close to finished. One is very new, one is very old, one is somewhere in between. Please feel free to leave a comment, I'm not really sure anyone's listening!

Youth of Today

The thing that was weird about last night was that there were lots more young people than usual (Lewis said they've been in more lately), but they asked for Elvis, Dire Straits, and 'some reggae'. I thought they were taking the piss, out celebrating A-level results, but that's what they wanted. It was the (older) usual types seemed to appreciate the more modern stuff (Killers, Kooks etc) and the punky songs. Still I expect everyone got what they wanted somewhere along the line, apart from the beardy folksters who left as soon as I played with a backing track!

Singing can be difficult

I did a four hour set last night. I enjoy singing, I'm not complaining. Still, I forgot to look after my voice throughout the evening. I started with some acoustic songs (Golden Touch, All You Need Is Love), and then some quieter ones with backing tracks (Come Back and Stay, Tempted, Yellow), but they have high-pitched vocal melodies and I hadn't warmed up. Consequently, I began to get a little croaky around 11:30, which is early for me. That means picking songs that give my voice a break (Bohemian Like You, Make Me Smile), and avoiding songs with falsetto in them, because that's gone. It's not that anyone else noticed, but it matters to me.

Backing tracks

I also discovered that people will download and use backing tracks off the internet regardless of quality or arrangement. It's really easy, you just search for the song in midirobot or some other specific search engine, download it and record it to your minidisc/CD/whatever. So there's no personal touch, the key might be wrong, it might not work live. Sometimes I think they secretly hope no one is listening, but that doesn't matter anyway because other people will still hear, and they leave with a particular impression.
I do my own backing tracks, which means they're specifically arranged by and for me. It takes me about 10 hours minimum to make one. That means listening to one song for that long, so I have to like it. Which means, in turn, that I only do songs I like. So there's no use in asking me to play 'Lady in Red', I'm afraid.

Don't want to be like everyone else...

Anyway, I mention it because I've seen a few other pub singers lately. I try to catch them when I can. Initially, I went to learn, to pick up some tricks. These days, I learn what not to do.

I don't want to sing those crappy 'sixties' songs, for a start. Sometimes you get these old dears saying 'do some sixties' but they don't mean the Kinks, the Small Faces, the Who. They mean the songs that were in the chart for a few weeks in February 1963 while they were keeping their hands on their ha'pennies behind the bike sheds at the youth club. I saw this bloke last year, slashed black shirt, permatan, syrup and medallion complete. He introduced one song '...and ladeez and gennelmen, Mr.....Bobby.....Vee!' No, mate, it isn't. It's you.

Sometimes people say 'play something I know'. What - I have to run my set list through the sieve of your ignorance? I just did a Dusty Springfield song and you don't know it? Do I need to get clearance? Why can't you listen to something you don't know? I bet you knew most of the songs I played so far, stupid.


Everywhere I go people make an effort to come and talk to me. They tell me they really appreciate the fact that I don't do the same songs as everyone else (actually, I do some of those songs, but only the good ones). So I know I'm right about this. Generally, make an honest effort, sing properly, don't take the piss and people will appreciate it.

Other people's songs

I'm a weekend pub singer. I have posted a list of the covers I do on my Facebook page. The list takes up too much space here!

Next appearance

I'll be at the Village Inn in Sandhurst this Saturday (the 16th).

New toys

Since I made the two MP3s (over there) I've remembered how to play the bass, worked out how to record it, and upgraded my drums. So the new versions should sound better. I just realised there's a lot of work to get the new versions done - it'll all sound a bit silly if the songs don't all sound like they were recorded in the same century at least.

Same Old Same Old

It sounds like it's a song from the old days, but it isn't. It is meant to sound like a song from the old days, though, because of the words. OK?

Hey Mr Songwriter, write me a song...

I'm recording some of my songs at home. I'm aiming for two albums-worth, each with twelve tracks. I'll stick some up here for you to listen to as they develop. Think of them as demo versions. When they're done, I'll let you know.


There's 'Boy Wonders', over there on the right. I wrote it a long time ago, but this is how I imagined it sounding. There are a few rough edges, which will all come out in the mix.

By way of an introduction...

I sing and I write, I play a couple of instruments, I record my stuff at home using a computer-based studio set-up. I perform covers in pubs at the weekends, and sometimes entertain parties and other special events.